Just get on with it…
All the things I want to do: be a best-selling writer, enthral and amass thousands of followers and fans on my web blog, climb mountains, go wild camping in the Highlands, ride my mountain bike in the Welsh valleys, get really fit and muscular, load up my land rover and travel the country. I always have, since I was about ten. That was forty years ago…
Well, now I’m really going to do them, I’ve decided. Time to put to use the last ten years of subscribing to Writers News. I’m going to read it from cover to cover and do all the things they suggest.
I’ve bought a book on basic navigation; I mean, how hard can it be? I might go on one of those advanced navigation courses, all the outdoor magazines recommend them. I could of course just get myself a top of the range handheld GPS set, but I want to look like a proper adventurer, and I’m sure holding a map and compass will look better on my Facebook pics. Oh and you should see the tent I bought, the lightest and best on the market, the man in Snow & Rock told me so.
And I’ve joined a gym; I’ll need to be quite fit if I’m going to climb Ben Nevis. Maybe I should buy some protein shakes and supplements, to help things along. I wonder how long it takes to get huge muscles like all the top athletes. Shouldn’t take too long, I mean, it’s a really expensive gym, all the latest equipment and stuff. Then I’ll be able to start wearing all my new cycling kit; I wouldn’t want to look like a novice.
Would be great to make some money from my blog too, just to tide me over still I start earning royalties. I think I read somewhere if you let search engines put ads on your blog they pay you for all the ‘hits’ they generate. I’m still not sure what to write but I’ve got a book on order, ‘Ten great ideas for a Best Seller,’ and there’s loads of free downloads for Kindle about blogging, I must look into that.
It’s not easy being a writer; people think you just sit at home in the lap of luxury, that all your time is your own, to do as you like whenever the mood takes you. It’s not like that; you have to be disciplined, ruthlessly sticking to your meticulously planned work schedule. I mean, you wouldn’t just down tools if you were at the office or on an assembly line just because you wanted to catch the DNA results on the Jeremy Kyle show, or nip off for a cuppa until you felt like working again would you? Well, I wouldn’t either, not normally, but it’s okay sometimes; it’s not as though I’ve got a long commute or ‘owt like that so I can allow myself a few distractions – but not too many, wouldn’t do to get into bad habit – oh hang on, be back in a min, my phone just pinged, I’ve got a Facebook friend request, someone I got chatting to in the library the other day I think. Always good to have loads and loads of friends listed, shows publishers how popular you are. Now what was I saying, oh yes, not getting into bad habits…Yes, it’s important not to allow too many interruptions to your writing – Oh, sorry, my phone again, it’s an email from amazon, the latest Kindle Newsletter update… Ah, that’s awkward, it’s recommending you turn off your phone and internet whilst writing so’s not to be distracted. Well maybe, I’ll think about it. Anyhow, as I was saying, it’s important to build your readership for when you get published. But you still have to stick to your writing schedule, making the most of your free time, balancing your writing with all your other interests. Take this coming weekend for example; I was planning to get in some serious writing starting dead on 5pm and not finishing till at least ten, and then start again first thing Saturday morning right through till midday. That would leave me the rest of the day and all day Sunday for some hill walking and maybe get some material for a travel blog too. If only it wasn’t the X-factor finals this weekend and there’s a sci-fi film weekend on the TV too. It’s only the one weekend though, and it’s not like there’s a final every week. But enough talking, I really should be at my keyboard updating my blog. I’m going to write every night all this week… What’s that? Oh it’s the doorbell, hang on… Sorry about that, was the post man with a delivery, the final season of Dexter. Have you seen it? Great isn’t it? One of those series you can watch night after night…
I just have to watch it, I mean; it’s the very last season. I’ll definitely make a start on my writing next weekend…
Posted on November 12, 2013, in Flash Fiction, Short Stories and tagged flash fiction, humour, procrastination, short story. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
I’m feeling paranoid. I think that was aimed at me… Spot on, Paul.
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Ha Ha… Another one of my early ones, so really glad you liked it, and I appreciate the feedback!
Oh dear Paul; how close have you got this to the truth of the matter. That was rhetorical, so take your bloody fingers off the keyboard.
Seriously, if you read the ‘excuses’ given in Reader’s Letters of the top writing magazines, it is astounding. You are spot-on with your diagnosis; either you do it, or you don’t!
That was why I spent a couple of weeks checking and double-checking my finances in 2012, before I said, ‘Sod it, I’m stepping down … three days a week as an Assistant will do for me.’
I’m a Creative Writer, and I’m happy. First time really since … oh yes, the day before discharge in 1992.
Well done once again.
Wow! You’ve no idea how pleased you’ve made me with that – I wrote this late at night when i decided to poke some light-hearted fun at all the things I really enjoy (I mean, I’m probably way too old to be out mountain biking, climbing mountains, and wild camping but hey, sod it, you only live once). And yes, I’ve been guilty of all the writing distractions I mentioned!
You all over little legs, Another good one.
Thanks Brian (you cheeky sod!)